Saturday, 17 May 2014

The Cost of Love

The Cost of Love


Love is one of the most used, yet one of the most misused words in the universe. It could be a source of total joy and fulfillment, yet, an absolute source of pain and misery. I am not an expert on the topic but I have been on both sides and that is why I have an opinion. Love is many things. There is no single definition of love. Antoine De St Exupery wrote: “True Love begins when nothing is looked for in return”. As far as I am concern, he couldn’t be more right. Whether it’s Agape(Unconditional love), Philia(Love between friends), or Eros(Romantic love).

There are many questions I would love to ask about love; should there be a price tag on love? Do I have to work for it? Or does it just come to me freely? Do I deserve to be loved? What is the real value of love?  Do I have to give love to get love in return? I could go on and on but I’m sure you get the picture. We all wonder from time to time. Some more than others.

It is often said that “There can be no love without giving”, while I accept and believe this, I also don’t accept that love has to be objectified. In our society today, we have reduced love to jewelry, flower bouquets and boxes of confections. Love is much more than that.
Some people go the extra mile to do things for others so that they can get love in return. They know if they mess up, it’s gone. They “walk on egg shells” just to make sure that they can be loved. If that is love, it comes at much too high a cost. When you love someone, it should be for no other reason than love itself. No conditions.  No strings attached. In our self indulgent world, selfless love sounds so unreachable and impossible. More like a fairy tale.
Love, the kind that is real doesn’t come gift-wrapped on 

Valentine’s Day. It is not a momentary outburst of emotion. It is complete selfless, sacrificial and unconditional. I’ve read and watched many sappy love stories and in as much as I am a fan, I have arrived at the conclusion that there is no greater love than the love of Christ. He made the ultimate sacrifice.

When you fall in love, In order to make room for new love interests, your circle shrinks. Everything in your life starts adjusting to include you new partner. The idea of personal space is greatly changed and adjusted. There are things and people you have to give up so that your new relationship has enough breathing space. Some of the other relationships start to deteriorate till they become none existent which means you sacrifice love to get love. In other instances, you bend over backwards to make some other person feel loved. You give up what you cherish to make room for another. That is sacrifice. That is love.

Every human being has the great need to be recognized, loved and heard. Some find that love in life. Others don’t. As far as I am concerned, there shouldn’t be a price tag on love. We should all find some way to give love and I’m sure we’ll experience it in return.
                                                                                                                                        

                                                         Xoxo…Gwen Ntumngia

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